Shattered again
A lot of things happened last week… I can’t get into details, in case somebody actually reads it. I can’t talk about it to anyone, I can’t write about it, I have to carry the burden all by myself.
Bottom line is that it’s been too much for me to process. I’m shattered into tiny pieces again. The pain is sometimes unbearable. And this is better than feeling nothing at all, at least I feel a little bit alive… and sometimes I just don’t feel anything I play the most emotional music I know and then it kills me piece by piece. I don’t know how to go on.
Broken
I don’t know who I am anymore.
I stopped talking with myself a few months ago. I seek out things to do to kill time, to kill thoughts. To live with myself. To go on.
You think that everything will be ok and that you’ll never love anyone else again, because you’re happy. Or you should be happy. And then, suddenly you’re in love again, with all the passionate thoughts I can’t really describe, but my stomach flips when I think about it. And you find yourself loving one person and being in love with another…
Don’t ask me how it’s possible.
